First I lost my cat, then my dad, and now my iPad.
I actually had this thought for a fraction of a second! Of course, for a long time after that I was ashamed of my shallowness, that I could even compare an iPad to my dad, for however micro fraction of a second. But it got me thinking. The shameful pathetic truth was that I had had this thought.
Then I’m praying for forgiveness. Forgive me for my callousness, for my carelessness. Forgive me for taking your name in vain. The words of the doomsday foreseers echo in my ears – The end is near, cleave to your Lord. O and I even have my prayer book app on my iPad! A battle rages within me. Please let me get my iPad back and I’ll read a thousand Hail Marys. Bribing God! could I sink any lower? By noon I’m like a strung out addict in withdrawal. Making frantic calls to any and all who could be a source for my fix. Sorry, it’s not here. Did you check your bag properly? Seriously people, this is my iPad we are talking about. Do you really think I would not have first ripped apart my bag and house and car searching for it!

I seek
the serenity to accept what I cannot change;
the courage to change what I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

I could say that it’s the cost of the iPad that has me so upset or the embarrassment that a forty year old woman could be so careless, but that would not be the truth. In truth it was the realization that I had gradually withdrawn from the real world and immersed myself into a virtual one. This new world had become my safe place where I went to flush out the psychological toxins that kept accumulating in my mind.

The Lord moves in mysterious ways

Well my story has a happy ending. An angel found my iPad and restored my sanity. As a result some important lessons have been learnt or rather some truths have been acknowledged. The real and virtual world have merged together to form my entire world. As much as I would like to deny it, I need people. I don’t need them all the time, I don’t need too many, perhaps I don’t even need them to approve of me. But yes, I do need them in order to feel like I exist.

3 thoughts on “I need

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